Gomenasai, My Friend
by Lunar Sunsets
Summary: Sometimes what needs to be said most is the most difficult thing to say, and when those things are kept inside and never let out, they eat away at you. Leave you feeling numb and empty after long enough. And nothing can restore the ability to feel - once it gets to that point - until you say what you need to say.


The hardest words are often the ones that need to be said the most. The two girls stared at each other from opposite sides of the room, their hearts beating rapidly in their chests. Despite their constant staring, they never locked eyes.

Ocean blue eyes stared at emerald skinned beauty, unsaid words burning her lips and tongue. The petite blonde wanted nothing more than to walk across the room, sit down beside her _roommate_, and say what needed to be said. But the Winkie prince's grip was too strong - physically and emotionally.

Dark brown eyes stared at the beautiful blonde. She hid behind her book, sneaking glances that quickly turned into unashamed staring. The same words begged to be spoken - no, _yelled_. But she was never going to say them.

"What are you staring at, Elphaba?" asked the oddly tall Munchkin boy. who took a seat next to Elphaba. The emerald skinned beauty frowned and set her book down on the table, struggling to come up with anything to avoid telling Boq the truth. She looked at the boy, grateful that she had something other than her _roommate _to stare at.

"I was reading, but I must have started daydreaming," she said simply. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and leaned back in her chair, her thin lips curling into a smirk as she glanced in the direction of Glinda. "Did you need something, Boq?"

"Er...I just wanted to ask why Glinda was spending less time with you...it's unlike her," the Munchkin said softly, gently tapping his fingers together and staring at everything but Elphaba, beyond nervous.

To say that she was caught off-guard by the question was an understatement. Elphaba blinked a few times, her mouth opening and closing repeatedly as her mind raced to form an answer. "We...had a falling out," she finally said, casting another glance in the blonde's direction. Her heart broke a little more when she saw Fiyero's arm draped around her roommate's tiny body. "To be completely honest, this happened roughly two months ago. We haven't really spoken...since then."

"What exactly happened?" the boy ventured softly, genuinely curious and worried. He locked eyes with the green girl, seeing an unusual emotion in her dark eyes.

Elphaba didn't want to remember what happened. She didn't want to repeat it to anyone, and luckily, she didn't have to. The blonde walked over, uncertainty written all over her face. She stood across from Elphaba and Boq, trying to avoid looking her roommate in the eyes.

"What?" the emerald beauty hissed, glaring in the direction of the blonde, not caring if she noticed or not. Her heart broke more at the nearness of the blonde, the knowledge that they would always be distant hurting her more than words from anybody could.

"I wanted...no...I _need_ to speak to you privately, Elphie...I mean...Elphaba," whispered the blonde, her voice cracking.

The Munchkin boy jumped up and dashed away, leaving behind a folded up piece of paper. Elphaba snatched the paper up, quickly unfolding it and focusing on the oddly neat writing. Glinda held her hands together in front of her belly, nervous and unsure.

"I...Elphaba...I wanted to know...if you...and I could...possibly try to talk and work this out...later..." she finally managed to get out after much struggling and many false starts.

The green girl was too focused on the message to hear Glinda. Her heart stopped when she realized what it meant - who it was for and who it was from.

"I need to go," the emerald beauty mumbled unapologetically, grabbing her book and walking away, leaving the blonde alone and even more heartbroken.

"Oh...I..." the petite blonde sighed.

* * *

The two girls stared at each other from opposite sides of the dark gray room - Elphaba standing by a winged monkey, Glinda standing alone. The situation almost made the emerald woman laugh. It was so similar - staring from opposite sides of the room had become a constant in their relationship.

"Elphaba," the blonde hissed, venom and anger easily noticeable in her sugary voice. "Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to your friends - to yourself - to Oz?!"

"What _friends_?" spat Elphaba. "I haven't had a friend since I left Shiz. Chistery is the closest I have to a friend. How can I do anything to those who don't exist?"

"Am I not your friend anymore?" Glinda asked.

Elphaba cackled, making Glinda wince. "You were _never _my friend Glinda. You made that quite obvious when you insulted me at Shiz."

"I was your friend!"

"You were not!"

The blonde began crossing the room, but Elphaba raised a hand and stopped Glinda where she was. They stood there in silence, neither woman wanting to send the other flying off the handle. Finally, Elphaba spoke.

"You need to go."

"Why?" Glinda asked, a harsh edge to her voice.

"Because I don't want enemies in my home," Elphaba answered, her dark eyes narrowing into an icy glare. "You were never anything more than my roommate - actually, if I were to be completely honest, you were _less _than that. You were an enemy. A threat."

Glinda paused, pursing her lips and returning Elphaba's icy glare. "You know, sometimes what needs to be said most is the most difficult thing to say," she finally said. "And sometimes...when those things are kept inside and never let out, they eat away at you. Leave you feeling numb and empty after long enough. And nothing can restore the ability to feel - once it gets to that point - until you say what you need to say."

"What are you getting at?" hissed the emerald woman. "You are wasting my precious time."

"So you have nothing you want - _need _- to say?" Glinda asked, trying to keep the disappointment and hurt out of her voice.

"Nothing whatsoever."

Glinda sighed. "I guess that's it then. I have nothing more to say to you, Miss Elphaba. I shall return to the Emerald City and stand by the Wizard, protecting Oz from threats and menaces like _you_."

Elphaba watched as the blonde left. She wanted to scream at Glinda - call her names, blame her for everything, hurt her as much as she was hurt - but she couldn't. She refused to speak, fearing that if she tried to say anything, she would speak the words she had promised never to say to her old roommate.

Time crawled by. After what felt like an eternity, Elphaba realized that she was crying. Chistery stared, confused by the witch's odd reaction to the blonde woman leaving.

"I'm sorry," Elphaba choked out the words she had been longing to say for nearly a decade. "I need a friend. I've never needed one more than now."


End file.
